The Things We Do Part I

For those of you who don't know I study Anthropology, cultural anthropology to be particular. Don't get me wrong, I love physical anthropology but there is just too much to memorize. There is no way I could memorize all those bones. So I study the psychobabble of the Anthropology world, and I love it. Learning about other cultures and how other people view the world always has fascinated me. One thing in particular has always been a prevalent interest to me.
Social Norms.
Every culture has constructed social norms, and every person is subject to them. Whether it be that you take them *~super srsly~* or you're a sociopath and you really don't care and/or can't process the thought of them. And every culture has a different variation of social norms, and that is just cool to me. Granted there are universal taboos such as Incest and Murder, but for the most part cultures react differently to human interaction. That is why we construct social norms after all, to mediate how we interact with one another. One of my friends who went to Japan said something totally new and different to him that he had to get used to was that: when someone doesn't want to talk to you they wave their hand sideways in front of their face. He couldn't get over how weird that was at first he said, until he found out that actually outright telling someone to go away was considered incredibly rude and a personal thing. The whole hand waving thing though was a casual, informal way to convey "Hey, don't wanna talk to you." Every culture has things like that. I knew one girl from Samoa who thought it was so weird that Western girls all wanted to be super skinny and eat rice cakes and put plastic balloons in their boobs. One guy I knew in my classes was arranged to be married and said that it was more practical than "romantic love". We all view things differently. We all interact differently. And I love to sit back and watch it. One thing in particular always makes me chuckle, watching people interact in a confined public space, like an elevator or a bus.
I take the bus to work every morning. I see the same people for the most part, and the same bus drivers. We all huddle in the cold waiting for the bus that is late, and we all pile in and try to squeeze into the bus. But we pile in while attempting not to touch another person, because if you do then oh my gosh! Personal space violated! Watch as a scornfully glare at you! Or ignore you, lean far away from you and hope that you get my signal of "Don't touch me!" It's kinda hilarious. Although I do it too. I hate it when someone sits next to me on the bus because then you scooch as far from them as possible and spend the ride trying not to touch the other persons "no fly zone". You don't talk to the people around you, even though you see them everyday almost, and you certainly don't make any sort of commotion. Lest everyone looks to you and Stares The Awkward Stare that will put you Back Into Your Place!
It's kinda funny, and sad, when you think about it.
I also have to take the elevator up to my floor for work. People will actually take another elevator if there are more than 6 people already in that confined space. Unless they're in a hurry, then they'll suffer the "no fly zone" violations. I always stand in the corner and watch people squeeze on and stand "within themselves" so to speak, so that no one really touches. If you do then you either shuffle away or go "Oh! Excuse me!" Because touching someone else is such an offense. Not to mention talking. No one talks to one another in the elevator. Since you were a kid you were taught not to talk to strangers, because it was dangerous. I feel like that carries over into being an adult. You were always taught not to talk to strangers, so why should you now?  That's out of your comfort zone. No one wants to go out of their comfort zone to ask the person sharing the confined space how their day is, that's a little crazy.
But sometimes, you get those people who break the norm. Most people would view it as either being friendly, or being weird. To be blunt, they're breaking social norm, but I want to hug them when they do it.
For example, today on my way back from grabbing lunch. I hold the elevator door for the young woman running to catch it. I push my button, she pushes hers and we stand there in the usual silence. Suddenly I hear her ask quietly "Where's the Subway?" I look down to my Subway bag where I got lunch today and look back at her. I can either frankly tell her and turn away, or have a conversation. Obviously, having a conversation is more fun. Though surprisingly most people opt for the first choice it seems. So I tell her where and how there are a bunch more places if you explore the +15 walkways. She says thanks and tells me about some new places she found. I ask her if she's new to downtown, she says yes she just started. We had a lovely chat until my floor when I got out and we both bade each other a nice day.
It's things like that, that completely make my day. Some social norms are in place for a reason, others are just constructed because we are happy in our bubble. I like it when people pop the bubble, it breaks up the redundancy and makes my day.

xoxo